let them come and go..

I was talking about feelings. you know, you'll never get same feeling everyday. maybe you'll feel happy tomorow, you'll show your biggest smile, yelling, jumping, and do somehing stupid to show how exited you are. perhaps you'll feel sad, feel dissapointed, you'll find yourself glum, dejected, and crying, you think your whole life is falling apart. your mood keeps changing all the time. That's life.
You found yourself at university. Whereas, it was only yesterday you felt the exitement of your first school. you met to new people, make friends, become a bestfriend, promised not to split, but then time flies, you grown up, you begin to distance, stop talking to them, and watch them go away with their new friends, get angry, feel lonely, then you go looking for people who care, share about your feeling, felt fit, have new friends, and it will continue again and over again..

Its the same thing when you're in love. meet someone, introduce each other, you found they're cute the way they treat you, fascinated, you try to sense every written and unwritten words they conjured. Be fond by sharing your own thoughts, comfortable in unleashing what’s inside your head. but then you relize how aching it could be. When you found yourself mislead by your own thought. When something failed to meet your expectation swiftly replaced by disappointment. Everything is twisted. What you know now did not fit to what you know then. Adapting to the change, the dissonance that happened in between. They are no longer doing the things they used to do with you. You have no courage to ask why, cause you barely know that if it once has a meaning at all.

You spend your days contemplating, pondering. Trying to find the answer why whilst trying to forget. Denying things. You surely know that you are broke. Tore into pieces, but you surely can gather it back in. But there’s this wound, which might not be healed even by time. They surely leave a mark, which once has a meaning to you, but left meaningless. but then again that is not the end of your life, you'll find someone new, fall in love, and over time is keep running, your life will keep moving..

Life will continue to be met with series of feelings, so don't ever stuck in one moment. When you're happy, feel free to laugh. If your heart broke, just let it broke cause you'll be okay. Feelings are just visitors, so let them come and go..

Replica

Came upon this article on a favouritest blog of mine, and figured out that it's actually from thought catalog Got the urge to post this on my blog, cause i couldn't agree more to what it said and i guess most of you will do the same. or maybe not.

The One Who Cares Less 

 I’ve often heard that people only start wanting you when they think that you don’t want them. It’s true; I’ve lived by it. Whether its business or friendships or especially romantic relationships, the person who cares less always seems to be the person who has the most power. At least that’s what it might feel like for the person that cares more. But I question whether this is true or not.

I have been called the, “queen of not giving a shit.” One of my many talents is that I am really good at both not actually caring, as well as acting like I don’t care. Just yesterday, some girlfriends and I were talking about boys and I quoted Almost Famous as my romance mantra, “If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.” And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ultimately come off as cynical about relationships. People think it stems from really not caring; on the contrary, it stems from the fear of caring too much.

I know how to be the person who doesn’t text back, who doesn’t call back, who waits for the guy to make the first move, and who acts like I couldn’t care less whether he does or he doesn’t. Being this person comes natural to me because I have convinced myself that being the other person comes with too much potential damage. And I do think to an extent it does. I may never have truly had my heart broken, but I’ve known people who have; I’ve been there for them. And that shit isn’t fun. It’s depressing and devastating and oftentimes a really long journey to returning to being okay.

But the thing is I think people who put themselves out there; people who let you know they care a lot – I think that they have the right idea. I think the human heart especially when it’s young, is really resilient. I think that the journey to being okay when one’s heart has been broken is a journey that is usually worth facing even when love hasn’t done what you wanted. But when you’re the one who cares less, who apparently doesn’t care at all, you’ll go never go on this journey because you’ll convince yourself that you don’t need to. You convince yourself that you’re fine even when you’re not.

What people don’t seem to realize about the person who cares less or acts like they care less is that they’re usually the one who ends up being hurt the most. It is human to want love and to want to be taken care of and to want to take care of someone else. To deny that, is simply to deny one’s humanity. Being the “queen of not giving a shit” doesn’t make one healthier or stronger or wiser or cooler or even happier. It just makes you feel less human. It makes you feel, less and less.

When it’s all said and done, even people who are perfectly lonely and perfectly alone – still need their person. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a good friend, a loyal family member – everybody needs a person. And the truth is if you act like you don’t care enough, people will eventually start to believe you. So if you feel like you care too much or feel too much or love too much, remember that the alternative is worse. We should all try to seek balance because virtue is that middle ground between any two extremes. But when it comes to love, I don’t know if there is such a thing as loving too much or showing that you love too much. And if there is, I think it’s commendable; not something to be ashamed of. Because if you don’t tell people and show people that you do care, that you do have feelings for them, that you do love them, how the hell are they supposed to know?

So I suppose you can go through life thinking that eventually someone will break down all the walls that you’ve put up, because you don’t want anyone to know how much you can care; how much you can love. But life is short and people are busy. And maybe when the right person comes along, maybe they’ll see right through you. Maybe. But if you keep telling yourself that you don’t care, maybe you’ll also start believing it and you won’t even be able to see your person when you find them. So get out while you can and start giving a shit; and if your heart breaks, let it break. Because it’ll be okay. You will be okay.

 -KOVIE BIAKOLO-

best friend or good friend ?

hi there!
it's a looooong time since i leave my blog, ten days exactly. there's so many thing i have to do, saary. by the way i was officialy 17th yesterday, woohooo that was freaking me out, and i have been graduated from my high school so this time i'm going to study at university, but i don't understand what i feel now. i don't know is it good or bad. i mean, come on! university is mean that you have been grown up and quite independent to deal with real world. but in other side i feel sad because it mean i will parted with my friends, and i can't do a crazy and hilarious things anymore.

ughh.. it was complicated thing.

but no, i'm not going to share about univerisy thing. this post will be a little bit absurd post.
yesterday i see a tweet of someone i did't know. he said ...

"a good friend buy you lunch, a best friend eat your lunch"

isn't it an interesting words uh? ever since i saw it, i kept thinking about it. i try to find what it mean, and now i get it! it's about differentciate between a "good friend" and a "best friend" of a friendships. you must have friends, right? someone who cares about you, who understands your feeling, someone who would love to spend the time with you. but did you know what kind of your friendship ? is that a bestfriends or just a goodfriends ? you don't know ?. okay i will tell you the differentciate. thus, you will know what kind friendship of yours.

even though their smile describe how happy they are, they aren't best friend.

'cause a best friend is not about you smile,
but it about how comfort are you being yourself when you're together

i get a photo of beautifull celebrities.
but think they're just such of a good friends

because a best friend does not include the background of life in it
no matter who you are.

a good friend will always be nice to you

but a best friend will teach you how to be nice

a best friend wouldn't hide and close their eyes when you made a mistake

they would admonish you and show you how to be right

a best friend don't have to always be there for you

but they always with you everytime you need them

so that was my explain abot friendship. after read this you might furrowed your brow and say "OMFG, WHO THE HELL CARES ?" but i cares! and for those people who cares.. You Rock!

so wich one are yours ? a good friend ? or a best friend ?

xx

ney

Enigma

I wonder how ruthless and enigmatic could people’s mind be. How their passion continued branching and become an endless. Since they get what they want, they'll never be in contented feeling. They keep looking for a better, for them. Keep moving under this haunting continuous discontentment and sometime they decide to waste things that have been obtained.

I wonder how powerful and engaging their words could be. How you can be impressed and easily defined. Seeing the face, the look, the expression they cast upon you as they spoke. When they see you get something more than they have gotten, they'll lauding at you, catapulting sweet words. But who knows, the compliment and smiles that comes out of their mouths is a trick to hide their spite. You see what is seen. You never know the unseen.

I wonder how greedy people could be. Never feel enough to what they've gotten. Complaining, blabbering, and blaming the destiny. Always looking for an excuse to leave and go to get something better. Some people will do anything for things they want, one way or another. They fulled their head with ambition, desire, and such things that blinded them to the good and the bad. hereupon, turned them into cruel monsters.

I wonder how fast people could get bored. They judging something/one is not good for them when they do not even know that well. And how easy they get interest. They swiftly move and re persue their desires when they are not even grateful for the things that they have been obtained. And people will do it again and over again.

I wonder how pitty they could be. When they found themself tired to chase something better. When they belatedly realized that the better things is does not exist. because those "better" things are just things that we have no, and "better" things are things that we create ourselves when we feel dissatisfied and ungrateful.

And I wonder how all these remain as an enigma.

Racikan Kata dari Dara Prayoga

Sebuah Pesan Tentang Keadaan

 

Bukan sebuah heran, angin laut sore menyejukkan. Bukan mimpi, gemuruh ombaknya terdengar bermelodi. Bukan rahasia, semua terasa seperti itu ketika jatuh cinta. Dan bukanlah keadaan, jika tak bisa membuat yang indah menjadi ketakutan.

Kata orang, cinta sesuatu yang megah. Namun kadang megahnya tertutup keadaan kemudian kalah.

Keadaan di mana pada diri satu orang, atau keduanya terdapat cinta tapi masing-masing atau salah satunya sudah memiliki pasangan. Keadaan di mana dua orang saling sayang, tapi orang tua berkehendak lain. Keadaan di mana dua orang saling cinta, tapi berbeda Tuhan –yang katanya satu–. Keadaan di mana seseorang jatuh cinta, tetapi yang satunya terasa terlalu sempurna untuk dia. Mungkin masih banyak lagi keadaan-keadaan di luar sana yang menyisakan kepahitan.

Mengapa seringkali sebuah cinta tumbuh di keadaan yang tidak memungkinkan? Apakah sebuah cinta adalah tumbuhan yang tidak peduli habitatnya berkeadaan seperti apa, hanya membutuhkan ketulusan? Akan tetapi, apakah ketulusan saja cukup untuk bersama? Tidak, untuk bersama, juga butuh keadaan.

Begitu pula dengan keputusanku memendam perasaan. Ini semua, sedikit banyak karena keadaan. Apa yang tumbuh dalam hati seiring aku memandang senyummu, melihat tawamu, menatap binar matamu, harus aku pendam sendiri.

Selagi menunggu keadaan –yang mungkin tak akan datang–, aku guratkan tinta hati hingga senja menjelang. Aku kemas surat itu dalam beningnya botol ketulusan, dan membiarkannya bebas di luasnya lautan kemungkinan.

“Jika memang jodoh, kita pasti akan bersama.” Ah, akhirnya aku mengatakan itu. Mengatakan kalimat bagi orang yang kalah dalam perjuangan mendapatkan seorang pujaan.

Aku tak ingin menjadikan keadaan sebagai pesakitan. Karena sudah terlalu sering kata itu berlalu-lalang di kisah kehidupan. Kamu boleh caci aku karena mengungkapkan rasa pun tak berani. Tapi mungkin kamu juga tahu, bahwa kadang melawan keadaan tak semudah yang pernah ada dalam mimpi.

Dan biarkan pesan dalam botol ini, tetap menjadi rahasia hati.

-

day #3

hello marshmallow..
today i'm going to share the challenge number 3 ; pictures of something that make you happy
then here it is

i'd love to traveling by using this old bicycle

 having a guy best friend

 to live in tree house is my biggest dream

 to owns a beautiful garden in my backyard

this is the best cake i've ever seen

 london, i'll be there soon..

ney

XX

day #2

hello again, today i'll share the 2nd of the challenge.

day #2 ; song to match your mood today
honestly, i was feeling messed up today, there's something problem that i cant tell you. and this asshole makes me look like a menye menye girl all around the day. too many song that i heard today and it all feel match with my mood today.
but i should pick one, so i guess Taylor Swift - All Too Well is the best for describe my feeling now.
idk but i think some part of the lyric is touching me, it's like she talk to me in some part. just google it please.

and dear someone who has made me a mess, thankyou, thankyou verry much for this complicated thing! you are absolutely succeed! GAAAHHH
sorry for the rant, but seriously i cant handle it by myself i need someone to talk to, but.... helloooooww it's 1:05 am already. i wonder whom i should talk to now.

hhh..
i wish i could sleep now, make a cuddle with my pillow and blanket. okay, i'll probably try it now.
but before i go i would to share a cheesy thing...

bye people,
bye horrible day
goodnight.